Nyjer Morgan: "I Caught a Boney-Five in the Snot Box"

Nyjer Morgan, the brash outfielder for the Milwaukee Brewers in explaining how he got injured in the celebration after last week's NLDS Game 5 walk-off single against the Arizona Diamondbacks, sounded more like a California surfer dude describing a wipeout than a ballplayer who got a pop to the nose.

"I caught a boney-five in the snot-box," Morgan said of his bloody nose.

Morgan told a television reporter the accidental punch occurred after his 10th-inning heroics when the hugfest at home plate got a little rowdy, but he isn't complaining.

"I got no problem with that one," he said.  "It's all good."

The outspoken Morgan is no stranger to a little pushing and shoving.

The former-Washington Nationals star was traded-- more like banished--  to the Brewers after his confrontation with the Nats' newly-acquired $126 million man Jason Werth in spring training.

"I've been in a couple of fisticuffs before," Morgan told the reporter.

Asked if he was a lover or a fighter, Morgan laughed and said, "Both, or all of the above."

It looks like Morgan's in-your-face style is turning him into some sort of cult hero in Milwaukee and if it means getting another celebratory pop in the nose, it's okay.

"I got no problem wearing that one," he said.

Jason Werth Wins Race By Ambushing Four Former-Presidents

There were no Secret Service agents to be seen, so Washington Nationals outfielder Jason Werth took full advantage of the situation by ambushing four illustrious former-U.S. presidents to win a big-headed mascot race.

During the Nationals final homestand last night against the Atlanta Braves, Werth and some of the other Nationals players jumped into a mascot race starring George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson and perennial big-head loser Teddy Roosevelt and made the seventh inning highlight a little more interesting-- they mugged the Mount Rushmore icons.

At first, Werth and his teammates knocked down every presidential replica except the Roughrider, but then the slender slugger decided to take first place for himself.

Why can't Washington do this with the presidential debates?  The candidates' heads are big and empty enough already.